When You Think You’re Hot Stuff and the Universe Laughs
Picture this: Two TEDx talks under my belt. Both went viral. I’m basically floating on cloud nine, maybe cloud ten. I’m checking my view counts like a teenager checking Instagram likes. Life is good. I’m basically the Tony Robbins of mediation, right?
Wrong.
My phone rings. It’s Jean-Louis Rodrigue, the man who could probably teach a mannequin to have stage presence. His voice makes everything sound more sophisticated, even when he’s about to crush your soul.
“Carol,” he says, “we have more work to do.”
Wait, what? More work? I just went viral. TWICE. Shouldn’t I be done? Shouldn’t I be getting a trophy or at least a participation ribbon?
A few days later, Mary Kincaid—my writing coach who’s basically a wizard with words—delivers the knockout punch: “I didn’t fully see the Carol I know up there.”
And just like that, my ego deflated faster than a punctured balloon animal.
The Meeting Where My Delusions Died
So there I am, sitting across from Jean-Louis and Mary, probably looking like a kid who just found out Santa isn’t real. I’m bracing for impact, expecting them to tell me everything I did wrong.
Instead, Jean-Louis drops this bomb: “Whether you like it or not, you are an actor now. And your skills need to be Academy Award worthy.”
An actor? I’m thinking, “Dude, I mediate disputes about neighbor’s shared fencing and give talks about conflict resolution. I’m not exactly auditioning for Shakespeare in the Park.”
But Jean-Louis isn’t done with me. “You state things like Jack Black,” he says. “You remind me of Meryl Streep. And even Oprah is an actor.”
Okay, comparing me to Meryl Streep is flattering, but also terrifying. That woman could probably make reading a grocery list sound like poetry.
Then comes the moment that nearly sent me into therapy: “Your hands are all wrong.”
My HANDS? Are you kidding me? I survived two viral talks and we’re nitpicking my appendages? What’s next, my earlobes aren’t expressive enough?
The Brutal Truth About Being “The Best”
Here’s the thing that Jean-Louis and Mary understood that I was too busy high-fiving myself to realize: I wasn’t aiming to be pretty good or even really good. I was shooting for the moon, aiming to be THE BEST.
And when you’re aiming for the best, “viral success” isn’t a finish line—it’s just a really nice rest stop.
Their brutal honesty was like getting slapped with a wet fish of reality. Unpleasant? Absolutely. Necessary? Oh, hell yes.
Because here’s what I learned: excellence isn’t a destination where you get to sit back and sip margaritas. It’s more like a treadmill that keeps speeding up, and the only choice is to keep running or fall flat on your face.
Your Brain on Perpetual Challenge (It’s Better Than You Think)
Turns out there’s actual science behind why being constantly challenged is good for you. And no, I’m not making this up to justify my masochistic tendencies.
When we master something completely, our brains basically go, “Well, this is boring,” and start to check out. It’s like neural retirement, except not the fun kind with golf and early bird specials. We’re talking about the kind that leads to cognitive decline.
But when you live in that sweet spot of “I’m getting better but I’m not there yet”—that zone where you’re simultaneously frustrated and motivated—your brain throws a party. Neural pathways light up like a Christmas tree. Some research even suggests this constant learning helps keep Alzheimer’s at bay.
So that nagging feeling that you’ll never be good enough? That’s not imposter syndrome talking—that’s your brain begging you to keep feeding it challenges.
Learning to Love the Uncomfortable
These days, I’ve made peace with living in what I call the “stretch zone”—that uncomfortable space between “I’ve totally got this” and “I’m never going to figure this out.”
It’s where Jean-Louis still corrects my posture (“You have time,” he says). It’s where Mary helps me find the perfect word when “good” just isn’t good enough. And yes, it’s where I learned that my hands needed their own acting coach.
Turns out my hands were doing some sort of interpretive dance that had nothing to do with my words. Who knew?
The Never-Ending Story (And That’s Actually Great)
Look, whether you’re speaking on stages, mediating family feuds, or running board meetings, here’s what I wish someone had told me earlier: your biggest wins should scare you a little.
Not because you don’t deserve them, but because they’re basically the universe tapping you on the shoulder saying, “Great job! Now what else you got?”
Success isn’t a cozy chair you get to sink into. It’s more like a launching pad with a sign that says, “Next level: this way.”
So embrace the Jean-Louis and Marys in your life—the people who refuse to let you settle for “good enough” when you’re capable of “holy crap, that was amazing.” Welcome the feedback that makes you wince a little. Celebrate the uncomfortable truth that you’re nowhere near done growing.
Because the alternative—getting comfortable and coasting on past victories—is basically choosing to become a human participation trophy.
The Beautiful Struggle Continues
The learning never ends, and honestly? I’m grateful for that. Even if it means my hands had to go back to acting school.
After all, I’d rather be perpetually challenged than permanently bored. My brain agrees, and apparently, so does the latest research on cognitive health.
Plus, now I can add “hand choreographer” to my list of skills. Take that, LinkedIn.
So tell me: What’s the last piece of feedback that made you want to hide under a rock but ultimately made you better? Sometimes our greatest growth comes disguised as our most ego-bruising moments. And sometimes it’s about body parts you never thought needed improvement.